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TTC: How to Deal When Everyone Else Is Pregnant

04.25.2022 / Thomas Gapinski
Woman trying to conceive

In your late 20s and early 30s, there are typically three invites you will get: the wedding, the baby shower, or the kid’s birthday party. Your social media feed may start to feel like everyone is either pregnant or already has two kids.

If you are someone who doesn’t have a child yet, and you are actively trying to conceive (TTC), this period of your life can be frustrating, difficult, and emotionally overwhelming. Here are a few ways to cope when TTC and everyone else is already pregnant. 

Don’t compare

It’s natural to compare yourself to others, but is it helpful? Not so much. You lead a different life, deal with unique circumstances, and are built entirely differently from everyone else. Therefore, you can’t compare your life to anyone else. 

Comparison typically leads to one of two emotions, anger or jealousy. Both of which are not healthy for your physical and emotional wellbeing. 

>>RELATED: Mental Health and Fertility: What's the Link?

Plus, you never know what someone else is truly going through. For example, you might think it was easy for your friend to get pregnant, but in reality, maybe she was trying for years and never told anyone. 

Join a community

One of the easiest ways to see that you are not the only one going through this difficult time is to join a community of people going through the same thing as you. You can look for in-person support groups or virtual communities of like-minded people. 

>>MORE: Join Oova's virtual community on Facebook.

It might feel awkward at first, but the more you let your guard down, the more connections you can make. The key is to find a positive group of people and lift each other up! 

Skip the parties

You'll get plenty of invitations to baby showers and kid’s birthday parties, and while you may feel obligated to go, remember you're not. It’s okay to say no if you know that environment is not suitable for you. 

You can be honest with your friends and family. Tell them that you are not interested in attending these events right now. But you also don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. You are an adult, and it’s okay to simply say, “No, thank you.” 


Use the unfollow button

Social media can make you feel like you are behind in life when you see people who seem to have a perfect life. But remember — social media is a highlight reel. People will always showcase their best days.

Don't be afraid the unfollow button more often. If you are currently following people who make you feel bad, unfollow them. Discover other helpful accounts and follow them instead. 

Another option is to abstain from social media as much as possible. No matter how much you try to avoid triggering content, it’s impossible to block it entirely. 

Surround yourself with people who get it

Just because your friends or family members are having babies, it doesn’t mean that they won’t be understanding or respectful of your situation. So it’s worth having an honest conversation with them. 

You may have a friend who is going through a similar experience. It's important to be open to conversations about infertility. 

>>RELATED: How Support Systems Can Help You Navigate Infertility

The bottom line

When you're trying to conceive, feeling like everyone else is pregnant can be difficult and challenging for your mental health.

Find a supportive community, focus on your wellbeing, and try to make the best out of your situation. Use this time to do things you won’t be able to once you have a child. Finally, and most importantly, continue to confide in people you trust because isolating yourself is not good for your wellbeing. 

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