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How Infertility Counseling Can Help You Navigate Pregnancy Loss

Rosemary Joanne
Rosemary Joanne

Pregnancy loss can be devastating. You may find yourself working through feelings like grief, confusion, and anger. If you help navigating these feelings, infertility counseling may be able to help.

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Feb 10, 2023
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Pregnancy loss can be devastating. You may find yourself working through feelings like grief, confusion, and anger. If you help navigating these feelings, infertility counseling may be able to help.

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Pregnancy loss can be devastating. You may find yourself working through feelings like grief, confusion, and anger. If you help navigating these feelings, infertility counseling may be able to help.

Navigating infertility or other fertility issues can be difficult, not just for you but for your partner, too. During these challenging times, it's important to remember that you aren't alone in your experiences.

According to a study in the US, infertility rates in the country have mainly remained the same since the 1990s and affects both men and women of reproductive age. In the study, researchers found that infertility was more common among older women who lacked access to sexual and reproductive health services.

Despite that, infertility can also happen due to other reasons, such as a health condition or environmental factors. At the same time, 10 in 100 known pregnancies end in an early pregnancy loss or miscarriage.

Going through a miscarriage can feel devastating. However, there are resources and strategies that can help you navigate the pain and confusion you may be feeling.

One option is to seek infertility counseling.

How effective is infertility counseling?

Working with an infertility counselor can if you are having difficulty conceiving. It can also help if you are confronting big decisions like considering using a sperm or egg donor, or thinking about adoption and surrogacy.

An infertility counselor can be immensely helpful for people who have experienced miscarriages.

A study on the effectiveness of counseling for infertile couples ran a clinical trial on two focus groups of infertile couples — one receiving infertility counseling and the other without. Researchers found a significant difference in reports of depression and social support between the two groups studied.

Another study focusing on the relationship between infertility and psychological distress found that psychotherapy in the form of infertility counseling is an essential intervention for couples faced with any fertility-related challenges.

Researchers conclude that counseling before patients start any medical intervention, like assisted reproductive technologies, may be more beneficial.

Because of the link between stress and fertility, addressing psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, and stress with a professional may even help increase the chance of conception.

Through infertility counseling, patients are exposed to interpersonal treatment, in which they can improve relationships or resolve disputes to make the process of trying to conceive less stressful. This, along with cognitive behavioral therapy, can help patients with infertility who also are experiencing symptoms of depression and anxiety.

What other strategies can help me after a miscarriage?

Like other forms of psychotherapy, fertility counseling's effectiveness ultimately depends on a person or couple's responses to the treatment. Fertility counseling can also be expensive, like many aspects of fertility care.

However, having access to a qualified professional to help process your emotions and feelings during such a challenging time can really help support your physical and mental health.

Of course, other practices complement fertility counseling and uniquely benefit couples. Below are some other things you can do to cope after pregnancy loss.

Practice mindful movement

Prior studies have recommended pairing counseling with relaxation techniques. Techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, guided imagery, and yoga have been recommended by specialists for those dealing with infertility.

Yoga is a popular activity that can be particularly beneficial because it bridges exercise and mindfulness.

Aside from improving your physical health without being a physically intense workout, yoga has also been found to help enhance the quality of sleep and time. Sleep and time are both fundamental aspects of your healing journey.

Yoga can help decrease negative feelings and thoughts associated with infertility, allowing you to process your emotions through a physical outlet.

Lean on friends and loved

Grieving a lost pregnancy will take time and energy. Additionally, the aftereffects of a miscarriage on your body may feel painful or uncomfortable. Doing everyday chores, errands, pet care, or child care may be too taxing on your body during this time.

Don't be afraid to reach out to friends and loved ones for help to get through your normal schedule.

Pregnancy loss is an emotionally and psychologically challenging experience, and it's perfectly alright for you to take your time to process your emotions before returning to your routine.

Outside of therapy and counseling, your loved ones will be the best sounding boards for your thoughts and feelings as you grieve, supporting you with their presence.

You also are never obligated to share your story with others if you are not ready to talk about it.

Communicate with your partner

Lastly, even if your instinct is to pull back and take time for yourself, it is a good idea not to shut out your partner during this time.

Avoiding your partner out of frustration, guilt, or shame can often feel easier than confronting these feelings head-on. This can put a lot of strain on your relationship during a time when you are both already navigating challenging emotions.

Remember that a miscarriage also affects your partner. Communicating your feelings with your partner can help you connect and inform them of your needs moving forward.

While you're at it, don't shy away from planning some positive activities that can strengthen your relationship and lighten your mood during hard times, like a fun date or a movie night.

About the author

Rosemary Joanne

Sources

perimenopause-periods
Should I still see my gynecologist if my periods are just "weird" but not painful?
Yes. Annual visits remain important during perimenopause. Your provider can help determine if your "weird" periods are typical perimenopause changes or something requiring attention. They can also discuss management options to improve your quality of life.
perimenopause-periods
How long do irregular periods last before menopause?
Irregular perimenopause periods typically last 4 to 8 years before your final period, though this varies greatly. Some women experience irregularity for just a few months, while others have irregular periods for over a decade before reaching menopause.
perimenopause-periods
Is it normal to have two periods in one month during perimenopause?
Yes, this can happen, especially in early perimenopause when cycles shorten. You might have a 21 day cycle, meaning you could have a period at the beginning and end of the same calendar month. Track these patterns to distinguish between short cycles and abnormal bleeding.
perimenopause-periods
Why are my periods suddenly so heavy in my 40s?
Heavy perimenopause periods often result from estrogen dominance. When progesterone drops but estrogen remains high, your uterine lining builds up more than usual, causing heavier bleeding when it sheds. This is common in perimenopause but should be evaluated if it affects your daily life.
perimenopause-periods
Can I still get pregnant if my periods are irregular during perimenopause?
Yes. As long as you're having periods, even irregular ones, you may still be ovulating. Pregnancy is possible until you've gone 12 full months without any period. If you don't want to become pregnant, continue using contraception throughout perimenopause.
perimenopause-and-weight-gain
Can you prevent perimenopause weight gain completely?
While you may not prevent all weight changes during perimenopause, you can minimize gain through proactive strategies. Starting strength training before perimenopause, maintaining consistent sleep habits, and managing stress can help your body adapt to hormonal changes more smoothly. Remember, some body changes during this transition are normal and healthy.
perimenopause-and-weight-gain
At what age does perimenopause weight gain typically start?
Perimenopause weight gain can begin in your late 30s or early 40s, often coinciding with the first hormonal changes. Many women notice gradual changes starting 5 to 10 years before their final period. The timing varies greatly based on genetics, lifestyle, and overall health.
perimenopause-and-weight-gain
Does everyone gain the same amount during perimenopause?
No. Perimenopause weight gain varies significantly. Some women gain 5 pounds, others 20 or more, and some maintain their weight. Factors include genetics, starting weight, activity level, stress, sleep quality, and how dramatically hormones fluctuate. Your experience is unique to your body.
Is perimenopause weight gain different from regular aging weight gain?
Yes. While metabolism naturally slows with age, perimenopause weight gain has distinct characteristics. The hormonal shifts cause fat redistribution to the midsection, even if overall weight doesn't change dramatically. This abdominal weight gain pattern is specifically linked to declining estrogen and progesterone, not just aging.
perimenopause-and-weight-gain
Will the weight come off after menopause?
Perimenopause weight gain often stabilizes after menopause when hormones level out, but the weight doesn't automatically disappear. The metabolic and body composition changes that occur during perimenopause tend to persist. However, with consistent healthy habits, weight management becomes more predictable post menopause than during the fluctuating perimenopause years.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
Can I take progesterone if I'm breastfeeding?
Yes, progesterone is generally safe while breastfeeding and doesn't significantly affect milk supply. However, always discuss with your healthcare provider before starting any hormone supplementation while nursing.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
Is it safe to take progesterone throughout pregnancy?
Yes, when prescribed by your healthcare provider. Progesterone supplementation in early pregnancy is safe and can reduce miscarriage risk in women with low progesterone or a history of pregnancy loss. Most providers continue supplementation through the first trimester (weeks 10-12) when the placenta takes over.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
Can progesterone supplementation cause weight gain?
Progesterone can cause temporary water retention and bloating, which may show up as a few pounds on the scale, but it doesn't cause true fat weight gain. Most women don't experience significant weight changes from progesterone supplementation.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
Can I switch from pills to suppositories or vice versa?
Yes, but only under your doctor's guidance. The dosing and timing may need adjustment when switching between forms since they're absorbed differently. Never switch on your own, especially if you're pregnant or undergoing fertility treatment.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
Will progesterone supplementation delay my period?
Yes, progesterone keeps the uterine lining intact, so if you're not pregnant and continue taking progesterone, your period will be delayed. Once you stop taking it, your period should start within 2-10 days. If you are pregnant, progesterone helps maintain the pregnancy and you won't get a period.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
Should I take progesterone pills orally or vaginally?
For fertility and pregnancy support, vaginal progesterone is usually preferred because it delivers higher concentrations directly to the uterus. For perimenopause or general hormone balance, oral progesterone often works well and is more convenient. Your doctor will recommend the best route based on your specific needs.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
When should I start taking progesterone after ovulation?
Typically, progesterone supplementation for luteal phase support starts 2-3 days after ovulation (confirmed by LH surge or temperature rise). Your doctor will give you specific timing based on your protocol. Some women start immediately after a positive ovulation test.
https://www.oova.life/blog/progesterone-supplementation-guide
What's better: progesterone cream or pills?
Pills (oral micronized progesterone) are generally more effective and reliable than creams because absorption from creams is inconsistent. For medical conditions like fertility issues, low progesterone, or HRT, prescription pills or suppositories are strongly recommended over over-the-counter creams.
https://www.oova.life/blog/low-vs-high-progesterone-symptoms
How can I tell if I have low or high progesterone?
The only definitive way to know is through hormone testing via blood tests or at-home urine tests that measure progesterone metabolites. However, symptom patterns can provide clues: anxiety and irregular periods suggest low progesterone, while bloating and extreme fatigue suggest high progesterone.
https://www.oova.life/blog/low-vs-high-progesterone-symptoms
When during my cycle should I test progesterone levels?
Test progesterone levels during the luteal phase, typically 7 days after ovulation or around day 21 of a 28-day cycle. This is when progesterone should be at its peak, making it easier to identify if levels are too low or too high.
https://www.oova.life/blog/low-vs-high-progesterone-symptoms
What are the main differences between low and high progesterone symptoms?
Low progesterone typically causes irregular or heavy periods, anxiety, hot flashes, and sleep issues. High progesterone causes bloating, fatigue, intense breast tenderness, and depression-like mood changes. Low progesterone symptoms persist throughout your cycle, while high progesterone symptoms are most intense during the luteal phase.
https://www.oova.life/blog/low-vs-high-progesterone-symptoms
Can you have symptoms of both low and high progesterone?
Some symptoms like breast tenderness and mood changes can occur with both low and high progesterone, making it confusing. However, the timing, intensity, and accompanying symptoms differ. Hormone testing is the best way to determine which imbalance you're experiencing.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
Can stress affect 10 DPO symptoms?
Yes, stress can worsen or mimic 10 DPO symptoms. Stress increases cortisol, which can cause cramping, fatigue, and mood changes similar to both PMS and early pregnancy. During the two-week wait, try stress-reduction techniques like gentle exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
Is it better to test at 10 DPO or wait?
It's better to wait until 12–14 DPO for more accurate results. Testing at 10 DPO often leads to false negatives because hCG levels may still be too low. If you absolutely can't wait, use a sensitive early detection test with first morning urine, and be prepared to retest in 2–3 days if negative.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
What does implantation bleeding look like at 10 DPO?
Implantation bleeding at 10 DPO is typically light pink or brown, much lighter than a period, and lasts 1–2 days. It's often just spotting when you wipe or a few drops on a panty liner. However, only 15–20% of pregnant women experience implantation bleeding—most don't have any bleeding at all.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
Why am I cramping at 10 DPO?
Cramping at 10 DPO can be caused by elevated progesterone (whether you're pregnant or not), implantation (if you're pregnant), or premenstrual cramping. Unfortunately, cramping alone can't tell you if you're pregnant since progesterone causes similar symptoms in both scenarios.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
What are the chances of a BFP at 10 DPO?
If you're pregnant, you have about a 50–60% chance of getting a positive test at 10 DPO. This means there's a 40–50% chance of a false negative even if you conceived. Chances improve significantly by 12–14 DPO.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
What DPO is most accurate for pregnancy testing?
14 DPO (the day of your missed period) is the most accurate time to test, with 99% accuracy. 12 DPO offers 80–90% accuracy. 10 DPO has only 50–60% accuracy. For best results, wait as long as you can—ideally until 12–14 DPO.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
Is 10 DPO too early to test?
10 DPO is considered early for pregnancy testing. While some women get positives at 10 DPO, accuracy is only 50–60% if you're pregnant. For best results, wait until 12 DPO (80–90% accuracy) or 14 DPO/missed period (99% accuracy).
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
Can you have implantation at 10 DPO?
Yes, implantation can still occur at 10 DPO, though 84% of women have already implanted by this point. Late implantation at 10–12 DPO is normal. If implantation happens at 10 DPO, you won't get a positive pregnancy test for another 2–3 days.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
What does a negative test at 10 DPO mean?
A negative test at 10 DPO does not mean you're not pregnant. It's very common to get negatives at 10 DPO even if you conceived. Your hCG levels may still be too low, or implantation may have occurred later. Wait until 12–14 DPO to retest for more accurate results.
https://www.oova.life/blog/10-dpo
Can you get a positive pregnancy test at 10 DPO?
Yes, but only about 50–60% of pregnant women will get a positive at 10 DPO. The other 40–50% have hCG levels that are still too low to detect. If you test negative at 10 DPO, wait 2–3 days and test again.
https://www.oova.life/blog/high-progesterone-symptoms
Can high progesterone cause weight gain?
Yes, elevated progesterone can cause temporary weight gain through water retention and bloating. This is a normal part of the luteal phase and early pregnancy.
https://www.oova.life/blog/how-to-increase-estrogen
Does stress affect estrogen levels?
Yes, chronic stress elevates cortisol, which can suppress estrogen production and disrupt hormonal balance. Stress reduction through meditation, yoga, adequate sleep, and self-care practices helps maintain optimal estrogen levels.
https://www.oova.life/blog/how-to-increase-estrogen
When should I consider medical treatment for low estrogen?
Consider medical intervention if natural methods don't improve symptoms after 3 months, if symptoms severely impact quality of life, if you're experiencing early menopause (before 40), or if you have fertility concerns. Hormone replacement therapy may be appropriate in these cases.
https://www.oova.life/blog/how-to-increase-estrogen
What are the signs that my estrogen is increasing?
Signs of rising estrogen include more regular menstrual cycles, reduced hot flashes, improved vaginal lubrication, better mood stability, increased energy, and improved skin elasticity. You may also notice reduced symptoms that originally indicated low estrogen.
https://www.oova.life/blog/how-to-increase-estrogen
Can exercise increase estrogen levels?
Yes, moderate exercise stimulates estrogen release and helps maintain hormonal balance. Aim for 150 minutes of moderate cardio weekly plus strength training twice per week. However, excessive exercise can actually lower estrogen, so balance is key.
https://www.oova.life/blog/how-to-increase-estrogen
How long does it take to increase estrogen naturally?
With consistent dietary and lifestyle changes, you may notice improvements in symptoms within 4-8 weeks. However, significant hormonal changes typically take 2-3 months. Tracking your cycle and symptoms can help you monitor progress.
https://www.oova.life/blog/how-to-increase-estrogen
What foods increase estrogen levels naturally?
Foods high in phytoestrogens can help increase estrogen naturally. The best options include flax seeds (high in lignans), soy products (tofu, tempeh, edamame), lentils, chickpeas, whole grains (oats, quinoa, brown rice), and garlic. These plant compounds mimic estrogen's effects in the body.
https://www.oova.life/blog/perimenopause
What helps relieve hot flashes quickly?
Cool environments, layered clothing, herbal teas, and medical treatments like gabapentin or HRT may help—depending on severity. Lifestyle changes like reducing caffeine and alcohol can also provide relief.
https://www.oova.life/blog/perimenopause
Are there tests to confirm perimenopause?
Yes. Tests measuring estradiol, LH, and FSH levels can indicate hormonal shifts—but diagnosis is often symptom-based since hormone levels fluctuate widely during perimenopause.
https://www.oova.life/blog/perimenopause
How do I know it's perimenopause and not something else?
A doctor may recommend hormone testing (like LH, E3G, and PdG) and track symptom timing. Diagnosis is often based on symptoms combined with age and menstrual pattern changes.
https://www.oova.life/blog/perimenopause
What's the earliest age perimenopause can start?
Some women begin experiencing symptoms as early as their mid-30s, though perimenopause typically starts between ages 38-45.
https://www.oova.life/blog/perimenopause
Does perimenopause affect mental clarity?
Yes. Brain fog and difficulty concentrating are common during hormone fluctuations in perimenopause.
https://www.oova.life/blog/TBD-10-symptoms-and-how-to-get-relief
What happens after the last sign of perimenopause?
After your final period, you enter postmenopause. You'll need 12 consecutive months without a period to confirm menopause. Many symptoms gradually improve, though some like vaginal dryness may persist without treatment.
https://www.oova.life/blog/TBD-10-symptoms-and-how-to-get-relief
When do perimenopause symptoms finally stop?
Some symptoms like brain fog improve after menopause, while others like hot flashes may continue for up to 10 years post-menopause. Vaginal symptoms often persist or worsen without treatment. Each person's timeline is different.
https://www.oova.life/blog/high-progesterone-symptoms
Is high progesterone a sign of pregnancy?
Yes, high progesterone is one of the earliest indicators of pregnancy. Progesterone levels rise significantly after conception to support the developing embryo and reach their peak during the third trimester.
https://www.oova.life/blog/TBD-10-symptoms-and-how-to-get-relief
Can you still get pregnant in late perimenopause?
Yes, you can still get pregnant during perimenopause as long as you're having periods, even if they're infrequent. Continue using birth control until you've gone 12 consecutive months without a period and have officially reached menopause.
https://www.oova.life/blog/TBD-10-symptoms-and-how-to-get-relief
Do symptoms get worse before perimenopause ends?
Yes, most perimenopause symptoms intensify in the final 1-2 years before menopause. Hot flashes peak around your final period, vaginal symptoms worsen, and mood changes increase. However, brain fog typically improves in late perimenopause.
https://www.oova.life/blog/TBD-10-symptoms-and-how-to-get-relief
How long does late perimenopause last?
Late perimenopause typically lasts 1-3 years before your final period. However, the exact duration varies significantly from person to person. You've reached menopause after 12 consecutive months without a period.
https://www.oova.life/blog/high-progesterone-symptoms
What are the symptoms of high progesterone?
High progesterone symptoms include fatigue, bloating, breast tenderness, weight gain, anxiety, depression, headaches, and food cravings. During pregnancy, you may also experience increased nipple sensitivity and muscle aches.
https://www.oova.life/blog/TBD-10-symptoms-and-how-to-get-relief
What are the first signs that perimenopause is ending?
The earliest signs include longer gaps between periods (60+ days), intensifying hot flashes that peak around your final period, and worsening vaginal dryness. These symptoms typically increase in late perimenopause before you reach official menopause.
https://www.oova.life/blog/high-progesterone-symptoms
When should I be concerned about high progesterone?
Consult a healthcare provider if you experience high progesterone symptoms outside your luteal phase when not pregnant, or if symptoms include severe pelvic pain, abnormal vaginal bleeding, or rapid weight gain while on hormone therapy.
https://www.oova.life/blog/high-progesterone-symptoms
How do you test progesterone levels?
Progesterone can be measured through blood tests at your doctor's office or at-home urine tests that measure PdG (a progesterone metabolite). Testing is typically done during the luteal phase, about 7 days after ovulation.

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‍Our content is developed with a commitment to high editorial standards and reliability. We prioritize referencing reputable sources and sharing where our insights come from. The Oova Blog is intended for informational purposes only and is never a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult a healthcare provider before making any health decisions.

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