Infertility is known to cause anxiety, stress, and feelings of isolation. When your body isn’t functioning like you thought it would, it can be scary...
Elisha Kearns sat by the window of a restaurant after her fertility doctor’s appointment, feeling down and demoralized. It was 2013, and she had just discovered that after a successful IVF cycle, she had had a miscarriage. After experiencing the excitement and joy of hearing she was pregnant, the contrast of the news of her miscarriage was heartbreaking. During this incredibly upsetting and disheartening moment, Elisha heard a voice from somewhere deep within her. The voice told her three words: healing, hope, and blog.
These words were a sign to Elisha that she was meant to share her story in order to heal herself and others. Her story is one of hope and faith. When asked to describe her fertility journey, Elisha used the word “peaceful”. Given that this is not the word that comes to mind for many when asked to describe infertility, she elaborated: “I have learned to live in a place of peace. That is by capturing my thoughts and not letting them run rapid." Elisha explained that she chose to focus on hope. Of course, she has moments of anxiety and stress. She does not let herself focus on the thoughts that will drag her down, and instead, turns to hopefulness. “I’m not going to entertain the fear, the worry, or the what-ifs,” she said. Elisha does not let these thoughts take over her mind. It was not easy for Elisha to attain this mindset. It took time and effort to arrive at a place where she could feel peaceful and hopeful on her surprising fertility journey. “It took awhile to get here. It didn’t happen overnight,” she said. “You have to train your brain.” Through focus and dedication, Elisha taught herself to be at peace with whatever she was met with on her journey.
This mindset has allowed Elisha to remain hopeful, even in hard times. It is ultimately what guided her through the difficulty of navigating infertility, and healing after her miscarriage.
Elisha didn’t have much experience with writing and didn’t know a lot about blogs, yet she followed the words she heard in the restaurant: healing, hope, and blog. She went home that day and started researching various blogs, and what it meant to create one. She discovered many women who were sharing their journeys, and was amazed by the platforms they had created. She was inspired by the words heard in the restaurant, and by the possibility of helping others and herself through writing. In the winter of 2013, Elisha started her blog, “Waiting For Baby Bird”, which has gained a wide audience and devoted following. Her facebook page also serves as a support system for tens of thousands of people facing obstacles in their fertility journeys.
After starting the blog, Elisha realizes the important role she is playing in helping others heal. “Those going through infertility may not want to voice their own story,” she explains, “but they desperately need to know that they are not alone in their feelings”. Elisha’s platform serves as a place where individuals dealing with infertility can feel understood. Infertility can be an isolating and lonely journey, and Elisha is working to help ease these feelings. Elisha believes there is a lack of support for those going through infertility. Reflecting on her own journey, she said, “Things are exciting for people in the beginning, and things are exciting at the end. It’s in the middle when things start to get a little rocky, and that’s usually when people stop checking on you.” Elisha wants to be supportive to women going through infertility in the beginning, middle, and end. She wants to be the voice that says, “I know this is hard, and I am here for you.” She hopes that her blog can empathize with those experiencing infertility obstacles by showing that they are not alone.
An important part of Elisha’s story is her daughter Mikayla, whom she adopted through foster care two years ago.
Mikayla arrived at Elisha’s home after the two were connected through the Safe Families for Children Program in 2014. Although Mikayla was initially only meant to stay with Elisha for two weeks, the stay was continuously prolonged. Eventually, it was decided that Mikayla should live permanently with Elisha and her husband. Mikayla’s birth mother expressed that Mikayla was better off living with Elisha, who could provide her with abundant love and support. Elisha and Mikayla still visit Mikayla’s birth mom multiple times a year, and Elisha does a great job in ensuring a healthy relationship for the two. Elisha is now navigating the transition between feeling like a “cool aunt” or “cool babysitter” to being Mikayla’s mother. Elisha believes her role is to make sure Mikayla is loved and cared for, which she does a great job of. Currently, Elisha updates her experience with fostering and adoption on her blog. She uses writing as a way to understand her feelings, and express them to herself and others.
Writing, for Elisha, is essential. She has benefited immensely from writing her story, and believes everyone would. Whether it be publishing posts on a blog, or writing in a journal, Elisha believes writing one’s story is a vital way to express thoughts and feelings. “Writing about your journey and writing about your story is very therapeutic,” she believes. For Elisha, it is a way to let out negative thoughts and energy, and reflect on experiences. Elisha explains that sometimes, after writing a post, she feels disheartened. Reliving the hardships of infertility and writing it all down is no easy task. It can be emotionally draining at times for Elisha to reflect deeply on a difficult experience. However, it is worthwhile for Elisha and ultimately healing. “It does resurface a lot of feelings and emotions that sometimes, I didn’t even know I had. At the same time, once I’m done, I can leave it there, and I feel that I’ve gotten it out, and I’m good.” Writing about her experiences allows Elisha to better understand how she is feeling. It makes it easier for her to come to peace with everything she has gone through. Elisha also enjoys knowing that her story helps others struggling with infertility.
Elisha wants to impact those who read her blog by showing them that there is always hope.
“What I’m committed to doing is being real and transparent, and sharing my story. But also showing that there is hope in the story. You’re never without hope,” Elisha says. Throughout the pain and struggles that come with infertility, Elisha wants to express that there is hope through it all. This sentiment is present throughout Elisha’s blog, as she works to support others who may be facing obstacles in their journeys to pregnancy. The words that lead her to share her story- healing, hope, and blog- have allowed Elisha to help and inspire those who read her work.
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